It's great when you realize your own happiness. Apparently I need proof for everything.
I've just looked over some older LiveJournal entries and realized how far I've come.
The things I did to myself and the things I let people do to me.. maaaan. I'm not blaming them, I'm blaming myself for putting myself through it. The amount of abuse I've taken from people and how much of that abuse I've turned onto myself. It's frightening I'm still alive, it really is.
And compared to how I've been since 2007, I can honestly say I have improved. I'm happier, things seem to be going much more smoother. Sure there's kinks to work out but I don't have all of those extra variables to worry about, at ALL.
I know we've had conversations over this, and now I understand why you feel the need to be there for me as much as you are. Even though you feel the need to tell me why every time we drink together, I actually get it now. I store these things away and forget the way I've felt, apparently I focus more on the now, but wow.
I'm so glad I've grown past that, I'm so glad I don't live with those people. The people they've become is much better than the people they were.
I need to stop reading this shit, it's scary.
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<3
ReplyDeleteNone of my business and I don't want to try and make it that way. Just letting you know I read this, and care for you both immensely.
Hope everything works out in the end. I really do.
And I posted in the wrong entry. >_>
ReplyDeletelove you <3. i forgot you read this heh. i was angry and just needed to get things out. but thank you for the comment :)
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