seasons always shift too late

How many blogs does it take to ease my thoughts?
I feel like I have some explaining to do. Because I feel like people think I'm this depressing bubble just waiting to burst.
No.
I am who I am. And I am this way because of the way I think and the way I feel, because I think and feel more than is good for me (.. and just saying that makes me want to clarify that, for the record, it's society's fault I feel bad about thinking and feeling too much).
But the dark, depressing entries.. the conversations and debates and music.. it isn't just black and white. We are not either happy people or sad people. I hope we've evolved to more complex emotions since kindergarten.

I listen to the kind of music I do because it soothes me. I can sit here and relax and feel connected to people through music. I crave that connection, that understanding. Even if I have never or will never meet the people behind the words, it's settling listening to people reach in and pull out their insides and slap it onto paper. Just pure, raw emotion that I've come across and can ENJOY. That's right, enjoy. My music may be softer than yours but I get enjoyment out of it. I don't sit here and cry myself to sleep every night.
I sit inside my head with these make-believe friends of mine and we tell each other everything.

We can skip the entire transition of normal conversation to deep conversation, pass the judgment and questioning of trust. It's much simpler. I'm not interested in physical beings, just the mental ghosts they've left behind.