I could not recall a more perfect fall.

I will never, ever, in my lifetime (most likely) understand the complexity and power of love. The incredible magnetic force that holds two people together, no matter what, is astonishing. It's beyond what you can be taught in a school or from your parents. And I'm still dealing with my first love. If he is my only, I cannot lie and say that I would regret it.. because I wouldn't.

The lengths that people will go to to ensure that the one they love is not let go is inspiring and I take it for granted so often. I can only hope that with the mistakes that not only I, but we together make that we will look back on this time in our life one day and say, "we are stronger today because of it".

I'm patiently waiting to find out what I've been accepted for for University. It feels like my last year of high school all over again but with a little less confidence and more determination. When applying for University at 18, I had zero doubts about getting into the programs I chose because they were art-related. I was confident with the portfolio interviews and talking to the professors and, lo-and-behold, I was a shoe-in.

It's so much more different this time. Academics are on the line. There are no interviews, no direct conversations with professors about your life goals and your skills and light-hearted jokes. It's all ink on paper, send it in the mail, here ya go.. I'm in a pile with hundreds of other students just like me and I have absolutely nothing about me that sticks out.

This is scary. I think, for the first time in my life, I'm thinking constructively as an adult about my future. I'm not blinded by the misconception that I'll be a famous artist doing it for myself, by myself. Right now, depending on the program I get accepted for, I'm going to have to work my butt off to get a reputable career.. and I just wish I was good enough to be more carefree and creative and out there with the rest of the artists doing what I love and what I am probably meant to do.