I will plant my feet on this ground until I'm sunk in six feet too deep.
Trust. Why should I ever put any effort into giving it? I built my trust back up, solid, and it wears thinner with time. How is that even possible? It doesn't even matter how hard I work on keeping it up, how tightly I hold onto it.. certain individuals still manage to earn it and destroy it from the inside out.
Why must people insist on being beyond primitive? Act on instinct, on love, on purity, on truth.. take a little from each category and apply twice daily. How difficult can that be? How can you crumple this up and throw it away like it never existed?
Am. I. That. Fucking. Disposable... is all I really want to know.
Don't tell me I'm the only person you can trust, one of the only you can talk to, your best friend, that we're so alike and then, in a matter of minutes (if not SECONDS) completely erase me from your memory. How is that possible? Did I ever mean anything to you? Did I ever really make as big of an impact as you had me believe?
Or did you need an excuse to just leave? I don't need excuses, I don't need over exaggerated realities.. I need you. I need you to tell me to my face everything I have ever done wrong without trying to cover your ass.
I don't plan on rekindling this friendship. Ever. No. Even with a childish game of telephone version of an explanation .. no. Nothing.
The only thing I wish to have gotten out of this entire ridiculous scenario was a peace of mind.
You can royally go fuck yourself up the ass with your giant dildo now you piece of shit "best friend".
Go fall back into your old habits, go to the people you constantly talk shit about, live on with this mirror of a so-called fucking LIFE
Moving from place to place, placing emotional weight on people, creating your own happiness and sadness .. do you not realize that what you're building up around yourself has been crumbling since the day you started? Don't you realize that life outside of your walls exists? No, you don't. You will always be miserable because you refuse to stick your head out of the window once in a while and breathe in the air.
Go on, find comfort in those who have too many of their own problems to even care about your shit. I may have done it but now I understand why nobody else does.. go on.. fucking get raped in the ass by reality.
I hope it feels really fucking good.
I hope you enjoy your flat-lined lifestyle. All of the things you're "going to do". All of the things you've learned. Run around in your little circle until you've run yourself too deep. Beg for help, scream your fucking lungs out until words lose their meaning, until you're left with only your thoughts above you, and maybe then you will know how I feel. I hope you've placed trust in nothingness because that's all you will have left.
Until then, we aren't the same. We never will be.
