You keep twisting the truth that keeps me thrown askew.

Your restlessness is making you lazy. Lazy in life and in love. It's interesting watching it all unravel, like a present inside a present. Just a few more boxes and we'll get to the real surprise, but what will it be? I'll be front row, center. Popcorn in lap, waiting for the premier while you recite line after line. I've decided to plant my feet on the ground because I seem to be getting carried away in certain aspects of my life. Sometimes just feeling grounded and safe is the best thing you can do for your mental health. I realized that I will never be the person I used to be, and certain events in my life will prevent me from ever going back, but I can look up to my past self. I used to believe that all people had good intentions, regardless of who they were, and I feel that I've preserved a small portion of that belief from the past but it will never be the same. Trying to pick up on personality traits and why people do the things they do has helped me in understanding the most fucked up situations but it's also prevented me from assuming the best in people. The most difficult thing to do is to really, truly keep an open mind. To put all personal emotions aside and logically see a situation for what it is in terms of facts and other peoples emotions and then provide conclusions or plausible outcomes from there. And at the same time, still be seen as an unbiased source. If that makes any sense.. if anyone reads this, really. Anyway, it's just an easy way to explain my thought process.. and my head has been a clusterfuck lately. In a lot of ways, I am where I want to be. The imperfections are what make life interesting, and they help me realize that I am and should be lucky to have a lot of things and be where I am. I live to better myself because if it wasn't for my self-criticism I'd be in a much worse state. The progress I've been making these past few years has made me proud and I'm looking forward to making a great future for myself, slowly but surely, and if that involves taking a step back more often than not then that is what I will do. No regrets.