childrens things

Who's the one friend you can't live without?
Where did they all go? I tried to go through a list of people and I couldn't come up with a single answer.
2009.
Here's reality. You're gone, she's gone, he's gone.
It really plays on my trust and every person now feels disposable and passing. How can I expect anyone to stick around for long?
Kyle's my best friend. My boyfriend. Usually people lose their friends because of their significant others but I lost mine for completely unrelated reasons. On days and nights like these, I would love to have someone to talk to and have fun with.
I'm afraid we'll get sick of each other far too quick because of the people we've lost in our lives. I realize it's made us stronger together, absolutely. But I feel like something is missing. Not within our relationship but within my life.

I may just not be meant to be too close to people.. or maybe that's how everyone is meant to be. We get so fixated on these forever-lasting friendships as children and into our teen years. But once age comes down on us, people change, people move, and your innocent view of everyone and everything slowly starts to whither away. It doesn't have anything to do with sadness but people eventually wear you down a little thin. Less and less effort starts being put into friendships. And all of that trust you've hidden you've put into your relationship with your significant other. Maybe that's the goodness that comes out of it? Maybe that's what makes love so strong.

As you grow older, you lose people. You become a couple and friends are shared. You get married and all of your friends are other married couples. Friends are pre-destined.

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I was incredibly sad the other night. I was laying down with Kyle and all of a sudden I couldn't feel anything but this wave of sadness. I couldn't tell you where it came from but it was indescribable. It was a different kind of sadness. Usually I like to spend time alone when I'm like that but I was glad to have him just be there. I didn't want to talk, and even if I did I didn't have anything to say.

I don't know why but I just felt the need to be sad. So I cried. I played some music and cried while he held me. I didn't feel guilt or regret or anything but just that simple emotion.
And maybe for the first time in my life I didn't feel completely helpless. It was calming, not alarming. I felt safe. And I felt okay.